I promised myself that I would work at sharing my stories in 2019 and it’s been an ideal learning experience. Although I have published academic books and in peer-reviewed journals, fiction and creative nonfiction are different beasts. Writing has always been a big part of my life; I kept a diary from a young age, loved writing to pen pals around the world and as a teenager, wrote way too many notes... Joking aside though, I loved writing letters and when the internet came to be; I switched to emails. When I returned to school to start university in my late twenties, I took only courses that had papers over exams. And, although people tell me I’m an extrovert I never took a class with presentations; the spotlight was never my comfort zone. I blazed through my degrees from BA to PhD in less than six years. I have always had an insatiable thirst for learning. When I started my Post Doc just before they awarded me my PhD it thrilled me to be able to continue my creative exploration through the lens of research. The last few years have put a real kink in my life, everything was at a standstill or declining but it seems like my health is in check. Now I just have to work on getting back to my pre-2016 self.
One step toward building me up was to write again. I had worked on a humane education creative non-fiction series before 2016 but I was having trouble re-engaging with the project for several reasons. So, when my mother told me about a free online summer writing course; I thought that would be the perfect way for me to jump back in. The course was a small cohort of writers that were assigned to craft a story from prompts which consisted of three images and to focus on one of our senses. It sounded like the best fit for me. In my teaching, I have used similar exercises of rewriting fairy tales through the themes of the class in question. In the summer writing course, it was fascinating to see the way the weekly prompts elicited so many stories, the viewpoints and imaginative integration of the images were so different. My animal stories just didn’t seem right for this environment but I decided I had to do it. I was apprehensive to share my voice as I had never written “people” stories so I would have to write a new genre. If something makes me nervous, I gravitate toward the challenge. So, I decided I would write under a pen name to solve my dilemma. This gave me such freedom to express myself and explore themes and stories I wouldn’t have shared without the pseudonym. I also was new to this genre, so I felt shy about my abilities. That said, every week each story I shared was well-received. But the feedback and the opportunity to share with other writers was paramount.
The brief six weeks taught me so much that I took the NaNoWriMo challenge. Working seven days a week and wanting to write a proper novel, made my task even more difficult. I had tried NaNoWriMo twice before but this time I completed it with the silent support of my writing group. The Selecky class had also given me a wonderful community of fellow writers that have continued the writing prompts and sharing our work for almost a year now. Just knowing that a few of the writing group writers were also doing the NaNoWriMo challenge made me feel supported, even if we weren’t sharing our work.
When the Selecky class began a second time at a hectic time falling into the Christmas break, I decided I would write both under my pseudonym and my real name. Under my real name, I shared my animal stories, albeit I was the only one writing in that genre. It was also so difficult to integrate the visual prompts as they were all human centred. The senses, however, were a whole different story. It was a way to choose animals whose primary sense was in line with the weekly selection. If the weekly sense was sight; I chose a nonhuman being whose primary sense was visual. This was a delightful way to get to research new animals. It was a smaller group in the winter session and the other writers also enjoyed my animal stories. It was a real test to wear both hats, but I wanted an unbiased response to my people stories; hence, the pseudonym. The class also spurred a chapter for my novel I had no idea how to write. Sometimes, the right prompt is the key to unlocking the door to your story.
After I finished the second Selecky course, I decided I needed to broaden my circle of where I was sharing my stories. This would be a little harder. I was very fortunate that I never got a rejection in my academic writing. I knew I had to prepare myself for rejection because I was and am sure there will be several. Writing has always been therapeutic for me so I wanted to be careful not to create a negative association with the process. My birthday is in February and I decided I would submit a deeply personal piece to a Country-Wide Creative Non-Fiction contest. I don’t expect to win, it’s a popular contest, and the call goes far and wide. But, I needed to break the ice somewhere, so I submitted my piece. That same weekend I submitted six other stories. I was aiming for “an even ten” but for those that know me, “an odd seven” stories in two days is even better.
Then today, I submitted my first book proposal. The problem with submitting is the time you have to wait for your rejection! The book proposal was a learning process that got me to think about my novel beyond just its story which was a valuable exercise. So, while I have been absent from my blog; I am writing. The influx of inspiration has invigorated me and reignited my passion. I have been fortunate to have a group of select ever-indulgent IRL readers with whom I have shared my work and that feels excruciatingly personal. But, I am doing it and I am ever grateful for the ideas they provide by giving me insight on how they absorb my stories. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that I can one day share my voice with a larger audience. But, either way, that won’t stop me, my imagination or my stories.
