The summer came and went in the blink of an eye beneath the thick cloud of smoke from the wildfires. I flew home for a brief escape during my two weeks off and only seemed to finally catch my breath the day before I had to return to the coast. It had been a difficult beginning to my return to work after the summer. It now feels like that time was years ago and equally only hours ago at the same time. I blink into the past and reopen my eyes to the current reality I find myself in. Moving forward as best as I can. It is hard to do justice to my longtime companion. I never imagined I would lose him so quickly. It all came as a shock and happened so quickly that I seem to only truly be processing what it feels like with him gone a few weeks later. As we entered into autumn the memory of my three bums on the deck attentively watching something that I was blind to me resurfaces without my effort. I often reminisce about simpler times and look to the past for comfort.
However, when I truly think of the past it was filled with its own obstacles and although difficult in the moment, it now seems like an easier time since I have overcome those past challenges. Seventeen years of a life with a companion who was always by my side. One who was completely attuned to my needs and had a keen sense of when I truly needed that comforting. I think of those "easier" times being under the cottage lying in the dirt with the house less than a foot from my body as I worked on insulating the place for the winter. I look back with a smile as I remember my fear of being crushed by the house held up with rotting posts and the dangling spiders centimetres from my face. And, there he sat, right next to me while I worked so that I would not be alone.
2000-2017
